Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all

I am borrowing my blog to Mommy tonight. I feel she really needs to write down her thoughts and feelings.
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It has been now a week. A week ago, the long waited moment was on our hands and Kira began giving birth. The joy turned to tears and grief, as all the babies were already gone across the rainbow bridge. This week has been very hard for me and often I have found myself fighting against the tears. They tell that the pain gets easier when time passes. I doubt it is true, I just know that in time I learn to live with it. Candles have been burning every evening in the memory of those whom we lost.

Many have wondered of my strong emotional reaction to this. But cats are not just cats for me, they are my friends, familymembers and on its own way, my furry children. I love them with all my heart, even sometimes the love brings grief, but it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

Noone said that breeding cats will be always full of joyous moments, listening the little paws run on the floor and the little demanding meows wanting food. I started with facing the dark side, and as easy as it would be now to say "never again", I know I have things to give to this breed I love and have loved for 15years. That is why I will try again in future and continue on this path I've chosen. I know in my heart, that it is the right path to walk.


Now, it is still time to grief and let time run its course. I know our babies are safe and happy, on the other side of the rainbow bridge, waiting for us to join them some day. I know, they will be with me all my life, in my heart and in my memories. All the love I gave to them before they were even born will not vanish, and I wish my love would have been enough to keep them in this world. But they were too beautiful for us mortals to have, so they had to go elsewhere where they were more needed.

That is why I am adding here a small story of Rainbow Bridge, Author is unknown.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....