My day as a cat - Lilith The Mighty Minikitten

Today I want to tell you my dear readers about my day. Well, this goes for everyone in our household...

4:30am, the alarm rings and Mommy drags herself up from bed and from under the blanket of kittens.
I am usually still at my guarding place high above, just looking down to my kingdom and thinking what should I do today.

 

Then Mommy goes to do her morning business, and during this time I usually stretch myself and continue making critical decisions of the upcoming day. What plans I can do to conquer the world ? Would it be a day to take my flower friends for a walk ?

 

4:50am... time for breakfast. Usually at this time I am still at my Throne, waiting for my faithful human slave to serve me my food up here. Sometimes she does, sometimes she is just looking at me from the ground and shaking her head. I think on these mornings that she really cannot be serious, to force me to actually move my holy body down to the common grounds and go eat with the others?! I can hear the others eating already, but I just shoo my human servant with my front paw. She has failed today. Kitty is not amazed.



5:10am... Humanslave leaves the house. It is time for me to start going to my work as well. During these days that my humanslave is earning money for our food, I usually do planning of how to conquer the world and also many many other very wonderful things.
During this hour also the other Horde usually starts playing around. It is good that my faithful fighters are keeping themselves in shape. As when the final battle finally starts, I want my fighters fit and ready! In picture below Kira is showing how to kill a dog (it is piece of foxtail, but will suit for the purposes). Also she is demonstrating her superior intelligence by hiding the evidence then into a box!

6:00am... time for me to move my body to the training grounds and do my morning excercises. In the picture below you can see my "killface".

After this hard workout, I am ready to go for a nap with the others. It is important to regain our powers.
11:00am... Time to wake up slowly and start working! First, I am going to test how to add mindcontrolling drug to human food ingredients they are using almost daily. Here is bag of flour and I am testing the consistency of it to make sure it would be proper place to add my special drug.

Next, time for building my fortifications in case the battle begins. Here I am well covered and sheltered behind the walls of my bunker. I just have to bring my toys... errr....training materials and weapons (Ruler like me has no time to play with toys!) up here and I think I am all set.

2pm... Time to go for a nap. I do not want to show my humanslave how busy I've been again today. It is better first to hide the evidence and just leave few innocent looking toys (I mean traps) on the floor. Maybe if my humanslave walks over them, trips and breaks her leg, she'll be forced to stay home for the next couple months to worship me!

4pm... Humanslave arrives back home, and finds us all cuddled up together peacefully.  She is not suspecting anything. Good. She runs to the fridge while we are stretching our tentacles and waking up from well deserved rest. She places food to the bowl before going to shower.

5:30pm... Another humanslave arrives. It is time for them to feed. I have almost forgotten the mistreatment I got this morning by not being fed up to my throne, so I offer them a chance to redeem theirselves by placing myself on the male humanslave arms and offering my belly to be rubbed. After 30minutes of pampering I am ready to forgive my humanslaves and move on to more important missions

7pm... Time to check the internet. I cannot understand you people! Why, oh WHY do you keep posting embarassing pictures of cats into internet?! We are elegant, all knowing holy creatures and instead of making fun of us, you should be worshipping us!

9pm... Time to play! Oh I mean, exercise! It will keep us fit until tomorrow. Occasionally around this time our humanslave takes out the weapon she calls "lazer pointer". We, the cats, know it is the magical "I-will-never-catch-you-red-dot-but-I-will-die-trying". She makes us run around the kingdom trying to catch the godforsaken dot! I know, that the day I take my rightful place as the ruler of this universe, I am forcing the humans to run after similar dot. I think a beer that they can never catch will work well! Oh the sweet revenge!

10pm... My humanslave is slowly preparing for the bed. The Junior Officers NanoSurgat & Agares the Fafaa are still in full powers and continue running around. I am giving up for the day and finding myself a proper place to go dream about better world where we, the cats, are worshipped always as gods and I will never ever find any more captioned cat pictures of my kind in the internet. Instead, we will be taking pictures of humans and captioning them!

Good night my feline friends! Tomorrow might be THE DAY, when I call upon to you to take arms and fight by my side!

~ Her Highness & Holyness, Lilith The Mighty Minikitten, Ruler of the Universe and Slavemaster of all Humankind (and bearer of all other suitable and catchy titles)

ps. and I would really like to remind you about the following... Help me!
I am in progress of doing changes into my blog, and now it is your chance to give your opinions and tell what you would like to read here!