Guide - Lilith's guide for housework

Dear readers, it is that time of the week again, that I am giving out my new guide. I know many of you have been waiting for this moment.

Today I am going to show you how to participate in the normal everyday household chores and do them properly. This is a very important thing for every cat to know, as you never know does your human slaves do these jobs properly. I've already told you how to take care of your flower friends and how to make proper buns... so I am going to skip those parts for now. I trust you've studied those guides with great care.

Lets start by putting up (or down in this case!) the curtains. My faithful apprentice Surgat The Nano is here showing you exactly what is the best way of proceeding. First you take nice speed, jump and grab the curtain by your paws. To make the movement effective, it is best to move your weight from left to right so the momentum will make the curtain fall off from its place. Then your human slave can come and pick it up.

Cleaning cabinets and drawers is also a part of normal things to do. Since our human slaves are usually lazy, I have myself taken the liberty for cleaning the underwear drawer. First, I squish myself to the drawer and take a look of what is the status there.

The it is time to do Mommy the greatest favor of all, and be her fashion guide. This works the best, if you just "in silence" destroy and hide all the clothing that are against the good fashion.

Wool sock middle of summer is absolute nono, that is why I am taking it away from her, so Mommy will not be commiting a crime against fashion and wear it!

Unfortunately, Mommy has plenty of wool thread to make new socks... so I've taken the liberty of releasing "the kittens" to the pile of wool, to make sure the thread becomes all tangled and unusable. Mommy will thank me later, that is for sure!

Then it is time to move to kitchen and check whats cooking in the cabinets there. All those little objects that can be dropped to the floor by using a gentle paw motion, should be dropped to the floor. Why ? Since otherwise it will be hard to clean up! Remember the topshelves as well my dear friends!

and as in every cleaning... there is always tons of trashes coming out. Just make sure human slaves remember the importance of recycling and do not mix things up. Do not trust what they say, remember always to check yourselves. (an editors note here... remember to remove yourself from the trashbag before it is taken out...)

Washing laundry is one of the things I do not care much for. The machine is so noisy, and the foam should stay inside... I assume. I really think something failed here...

If you want to be helpful for the redesigning the apartment, take my hint. Find a bag of flour. Rip it open (preferably when the human slaves are not watching, as their screams can spoil the suprise), walk on the flour so your paws have enough of white covering and jump down to the floor and walk over the carpets so they have a nice white pawprint design on them.

Also, humans have bad habits of hiding things into cabinets and forgetting about them. When doing a proper cleaning, you have to find all of those places. Here I am checking on the toilet paper rolls.

a good hint for my four legged friends... take a roll of paper and shred it to tiny snowflakes. This way you can bring the winter middle of the apartment even during summer months! It is like reliving christmas!

There is one more hint I want to give you... if the furniture in your apartment looks boring, you can always use your teeth and paws to make it better. Remember tho, that the splinters can hurt so be careful.

and if your humanslave desides to iron clothes... they need some gentle touch of fresh cathair. Best way to utilize your precious time, is to find a pile of ironed clothes (they are usually nice and warm!) and go sleep on top of them for a moment. Heated up bed... mmmm...

and the bigger cat = the better. More clothes will be haired faster!

After everything (all this hard work!) is done, you can go to your resting place and observe the happy faces of your human slaves of all the hard work you have done and saved them time. If you want to be smart, the best time to do this kind of jobs is just a bit before an anticipated guests are arriving into home.

Thank you for reading! New guide again next week, and we'll open up voting again shortly. Remember, your vote counts for what I will be writing next!