So because of all the wondering my Mommy is doing, I decided to make a small guide about choosing profession and present you some professions so you know what to expect in reality.
There will be a second part also coming, so if you have a dream profession, please post it below to the comments and let me tell you about it!
We all know that some professions have a "glamour" edge to them, like rockstar or a doctor. Let me tell you the truth...
Programmer
You can talk "computer"? You know how to make things out from zeros and ones? And more imporantly, you know how to turn coffee into a computer program? If answer is yes, maybe you can be a programmer. Sitting infront of the pc all day long, writing random functions for the program you just did, go have a long break while the program is compiling and come back and find that there is some semicolon missing and start reading the code from the scratch over and over again to try to locate the mistake. And when it actually works, leave a note into the code for the future generations "I do not know why and how it works, but it does. Do not touch it or it breaks".
Rockstar
Know how to sing? (without making the children cry and adults look for earplugs) Maybe you can be a rockstar, singing in front of the audience, having the fans throw roses on the stage and buy your cd's from the store (or just download them from internet and not give you a dime for it!). It might sound like a glamour life, but think about it... Everyone is watching over what you do, and that one time you actually take bit too much catnip, the photos are sold for newspapers and the paparazzis are earning more than you ever did. Or the endless crowd of fans chasing you down, when you just wanted to have some fun.
Farmer
Walk on the green fields and feel the plants growing, and at fall enjoy the fruits of your hard labor during harvest time... Oh what a life! Living in a little cottage at the countryside, enjoying fresh products daily from your garden, listening birds singing and you can concentrate on catching butterflies... Sounds like a dream? Well, it is not! First of all, European Union demands you to fill out tons of paperwork so you'll get some money out from there just to keep your farm running as the income you get from your products is too low. Then when you think you are finally done with the bureocracy they invent something new like standards of how cucumber should look for sale... Who is telling this to the poor cucumbers that they always have to be completely straight and if not, they cannot go to the markets just because they are bit "special".
And then there is the winter. And the autumn. And the spring. When you are stuck at your little cottage as victim of the nature's forces and not able to even escape to the world of internet as in the countryside only internet you got is by old modem that makes creepy noises and with slight storm you are out of electricity for a week.
I salute you farmers! I honor you! You are the reason we have food in our tables and do this work for (mmm... cant figure out for what, as for sure its not money)... but anyways.
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| Mr. Elb inspecting the catnip fields and testing the product |
Creative mind is a good thing to have, and why not let others enjoy your creativity as well by becoming writer or an artist. It sounds cool, be at home and just let your brains do the working for you, but as it is said, rare writer/artist earns their food! So unless you prefer eating paper and have almost supernatural creativity, I'd say skip this and get a normal job you lazy human!
Doctor
Curing diseases, helping out people in need? Sounds fun? Well, that is what doctors are supposed to do... but most common place where you can find a doctor after waiting for 6 hours to see him to get your antibiotic prescription is in the cafeteria drinking coffee and ignoring you. Often in the public hospitals it looks like the treatment for any disease includes antibiotics and painkillers. At least the medicine companies are making nice money!
Even being a doctor is considered as prestige profession, there are also some bad sides. Like being on call for long hours (in worst case scenario this wont allow for the mandatory 23h sleep during the day!), drinking sucky coffee at the hospital cafeteria and having to eat hospital food as you were too busy to cook your own.
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| Examination of the face going on |
Hortonomist/Flower Whisperer
So, you like flowers? You like the feeling how the dirt squishes under your paws while you dig it? Maybe being a hortonomist is for you. But just physically taking care of the flowerfriends is not enough... You should talk to them, cherish them, and like I always do, take them for a walk from the pot where their roots are trapped due stupid humanslaves who do not understand that flowerfriends should feel the air in their roots and be free! No wonder our plants are growing so well at home after I've taken over of taking care of them!
Chef
Food... what a magnificant thing! Noone can be without and there is always a demand from people who know how to prepare it. Being a chef requires some tastebuds, as combinations like anjovis cupcakes or chocolate fish platter might just not do it when going for Michelin star... But many of humans (and cats) get their first experiences of cooking at home and offer the food for another humans as a test if it is edible. As I always like to say "The stomach issues caused after eating my cookings are not exactly my fault!" and "Cat hair is the most delicate of all the spices, so no need to pick it out from your food". There are also some dangers for this profession, like cutting yourself with a knife (I call this as adding extra meat to the food), or the burning sensation that comes after you wipe your eyes (or any other sensitive bodyparts...)with your hand just after handling chili.
Ruler
And if you still cannot find anything you like, you can always become a supreme ruler of the universe, like I am. Rule with your iron paw and make the world as you always wanted it to be.
If everything still looks like being too much work, there is still one option left. Become a cat and sleep most of your day, get pampered by your own humanslaves and never lift a paw for physical work. Tho there are risks in this, as you never know you end up in a good home... but if you select your humanslaves carefully, it is worth it!
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| Agares doing what she does the best... being a cat! |
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